Allie Gutleber, M.S., CCC-SLP is a speech-language pathologist who works with pediatric patients encompassing a wide variety of speech, language and feeding difficulties. She works at an outpatient center through Children’s Specialized Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ.
Did you know? SLP’s not only specialize in speech and language disorders, but they also can guide caregivers in difficulties with mealtimes. Anywhere from infants who have trouble latching to toddlers who refuse to progress to chewable foods, an SLP can provide assistance within their scope of practice. As a disclaimer, if your child has feeding difficulties, it is always best to speak with your pediatrician first and then visit your local SLP or another healthcare provider, depending on the nature of the feeding difficulty.
Picky eating can be FRUSTRATING for parents. Mealtimes are no longer an easy routine of the day but can turn into a stressful and challenging time. With a picky eater, parents often find themselves ‘hiding’ nutrition into other types of food, allowing children to eat in front of the TV or tablet, letting mealtimes take an hour +, or even worse, beginning to force feed. As SLPs, we get it. Parents are just trying to do what’s best for their child and help them gain enough nutrition to continue to flourish and allow their brain to develop well. But, with a little guidance from an SLP, picky eating can be a thing of the past. Keep reading for some helpful tips on how to make mealtime less stressful and improve your picky eater’s food repertoire.
1.Play with your food!
I know, it goes against everything parents were taught as children and I bet was never something you would have imagined we would recommend. But it’s true! Food play is a great exploratory tool to allow children to become more comfortable with new foods and creates positive exposures. It allows them a full sensory experience to immerse themselves in the food - from visually exploring the food, feeling the food between their fingers and smelling the food to (hopefully!) then wanting to taste the food with a lick or bite. When presenting a new food, parents should take some time to play with the food with their child without the expectation of consumption. Let’s face it - new foods can be intimidating! Label the different attributes, make the food into silly faces on the tray/table, pretend a blueberry is a fast car or turn yourself into a walrus with carrot stick tusks. Need ideas? Check out this awesome list by Jamie at Hands On As We Grow: https://handsonaswegrow.com/edible-sensory-play-ideas/
2.Create a hunger cycle
If kids aren’t hungry, they sure aren’t going to eat, right? Think about it. If a child is constantly snacking or ‘grazing’ throughout the day, why would they want to sit down and eat a meal. One of the first steps is creating structured mealtimes and snack times. Toddlers should be eating three structured meals per day (i.e., sitting at a table without distractions to consume breakfast, lunch and dinner) and two snacks. Make sure there is sufficient time in between each snack and meal so that they actually feel hungry and WANT to eat. If a child is hungry and wants to eat, present 2-3 novel foods for them to try before presenting their preferred, familiar foods.
3. Limit distractions
I’ve heard it from numerous parents - that their child will only eat if they are in front of the TV or iPad or playing with toys - and I can’t fault them. They are doing the best they can to ensure their child is getting adequate nutrition to continue growing. However, mealtime distractions are actually not great, even if it gets a child to eat brussel sprouts. Distractions are not solving the root of the problem, but rather masking it. When kids are ‘present’ during mealtimes, they are viewing appropriate models from other mealtime partners (i.e. parents and siblings), having valuable exposures to new foods (even if they are not yet eating these foods!) and participating in the full sensory experience (i.e., obtaining all the sensory aspects of taste and touch as well as feeling ‘full’). It is important that children are fully participatory in the positive mealtime experiences, as it will help them to expand their food repertoire and engage with others in the process. So, try to limit distractions and put down the iPad.
4. Try! Try! Try!
When a child does not consume a new food presented the first 2-3 times, it can be disappointing or frustrating. However, do not give up! Research has shown that a child needs to be exposed to a new food anywhere from 10-15 times before they will eat it. Now, that doesn’t mean 10-15 servings, but 10-15 times being exposed to it. That can mean things such as food play, watching mom/dad eat the food or helping to cook the food. Making your child into your little ‘sous-chef’ can be a fun experience for you both and thus, begins positive experiences with food interactions and increases exposures. Remember to eliminate the pressure to consume the food and increase the exposures to the food. Being exposed to the food is just as important as eating it.
5. Share a meal!
Family mealtimes are super important. They allow for children to have appropriate food models, positive mealtime experiences and even promote language skills! Research has also shown improved mental health, increased family bonds and even better grades in school are a result of family mealtimes. So make it a priority to have shared family mealtimes a few times a week and make sure everyone is eating the same foods, just don’t always expect consumption. Modeling eating is just as important and encourages children to try a new food like mommy or daddy eat. And remember - please don’t use the “you can’t get up until you clean your plate” strategy. I promise, it doesn’t work.
6. 30 minute max
For picky eaters, mealtimes can take a long time and can be stressful. Often times, children don’t want to eat a specific presented food and if a parent has implemented the ‘clean plate’ strategy (“you can’t get up until your plate is empty”), the child will then sit there for an hour or more avoiding it. Therefore, start using some of the tips and tricks from us! Remember to play with the food, limit the distractions, make sure they are actually hungry, try new foods multiple times and share mealtimes! While using all these strategies, try to keep the ‘30 minute maximum’ for mealtimes. After 30 minutes, mealtimes can get more stressful - for both the parent and the child! So set a timer for you both to keep it 30 minutes or less and start creating those positive mealtime experiences for everyone.
7. Positive mealtimes
Mealtimes should be a positive experience for kids. When they become stressful and aggravating, children can sense it and then in turn become anxious or behavioral resulting in refusals. Try to create a positive environment where mealtime is fun and relaxing and in turn, creates a positive relationship with food. A lot of the time, mealtime can be about control. Share that control! Parent can decide on the “what” (food), “when” and “where” and kids can decide on the “how much” and “if” they will eat. Provide options for kids to pick - just remember that parents get to decide on the options! Give options of what you want them to try. And just remember to keep mealtimes lighthearted and positive experiences, even if your child did not consume that new vegetable you presented. Celebrate the successes, like if they interacted with the new food by touching it or smelling it!
With all these strategies, the most important thing to keep in mind is to make mealtime a positive experience and to end mealtime on a positive note. I know it can feel like a slow process, but with practice and over time, your picky eater will begin accepting some new foods.